Audiophile Jokes and Anecdotes.

[KeenObserver]

Robert Harley and MQA.

[sphinxsix]

[Rexp]

Man goes into a hifi shop and asks 'what should I spend the majority of my budget on?' Shop assistant says 'Speakers' 

[Audiophile Neuroscience]

 

Subwoofers

 

[Audiophile Neuroscience]

 

Don't Take that Tone with Me !!

[Allan F]

[gmgraves]

1 hour ago, Allan F said:

Rodrigues must have been an audiophile, he drew hundreds of audio-centric single panel cartoons for both either Stereo Review or High Fidelity, I forget which, as well as for Playboy (when I was young, Playboy had great pictures of the objects of my desire... Oh, yes it had pictures of pretty girls as well!).

[DuckToller]

2 minutes ago, gmgraves said:

Rodrigues must have been an audiophile, he drew hundreds of audio-centric single panel cartoons for both either Stereo Review or High Fidelity, I forget which, as well as for Playboy (when I was young, Playboy had great pictures of the objects of my desire... Oh, yes it had pictures of pretty girls as well!).

@gmgraves

,sorry for off topic, you have got pm..

[Allan F]

1 hour ago, gmgraves said:

Rodrigues must have been an audiophile, he drew hundreds of audio-centric single panel cartoons for both either Stereo Review or High Fidelity, I forget which, as well as for Playboy (when I was young, Playboy had great pictures of the objects of my desire... Oh, yes it had pictures of pretty girls as well!).

 

His audiophile cartoons were featured in Stereo Review. He contributed to Playboy and his cartoons appeared regularly in the National Lampoon starting with its first issue.

 

His cartoons from Stereo Review were later published in a book entitled Total Harmonic Distortion.

[gmgraves]

3 hours ago, Allan F said:

 

His audiophile cartoons were featured in Stereo Review. He contributed to Playboy and his cartoons appeared regularly in the National Lampoon starting with its first issue.

 

His cartoons from Stereo Review were later published in a book entitled Total Harmonic Distortion.

Thanks for the info, Allan!

[sphinxsix]

Let's say not necessarily audiophile but just music related humor..

 

 

 

 

[sphinxsix]

I've run through some quotes this evening.

 

“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the ‘William Tell Overture’ without thinking of The Lone Ranger.”
Billy Connolly

“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down’.”
Bob Newhart

“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
Johnny Carson

“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”
Groucho Marx

“U2’s lawyers work pro Bono.”
Shmuel Breban

[sphinxsix]

“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
Dave Lee Roth, Van Halen

“Not seeing my physician for 20 years was one of those phobias that really didn’t pay off.”
Warren Zevon

“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the f__king deli without hearing or seeing me.’”
Lady Gaga

“All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”
Louis Armstrong

“I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
Angus Young, AC/DC

“I don’t have a drinking problem, ’cept when I can’t get a drink.”
Tom Waits

“In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.”
Damon Albarn

 

[sphinxsix]

[sphinxsix]

 

[Allan F]

[Allan F]

 

 

[Allan F]

[Allan F]

[Digi&Analog Fan]

Now with the warm temperatures of summer coming on, it's open  windows weather. The few percent of us audiophiles whose sound can fool people into thinking "there are real musicians playing in there!" It opens up infinite possibilities for not only showing off, but for practical jokes. Anything from taking the garbage out in one hand with drum sticks in the other to "I didn't know you personally know David Lee Roth." What are some things you can think of?" Are groupies possible?

[sphinxsix]

Once I played a Chesky demo CD, a track on which a drummer circles around the recording room playing his instrument. My ex-girlfriend came from the kitchen intrigued by the presumed fact that I'm walking around the living room playing the drum I never play (I got it from my father and it smells really bad - a goat skin.. I don't even want to talk what it sounds like..).

 

No potential groupies appeared, maybe women nowadays don't like Chesky Records..  

 

BTW, ever heard of Cynthia Plaster Caster?

 

 

[Digi&Analog Fan]

I heard about one woman back in the 1960s that was a classical music conductor groupie. She dearly wanted to, but was never able to meet Leopold Stokowski. That was her fantasy. She met my uncle one time and he thought it would be good to have a few drinks with her. My uncle had somewhat above average length hair. She had a spray can with her and she kept wanting to mess up his hair and then spray it white. Like Leopold's. He had to leave.

 

 There was guy, that for years and years was advertising in an audio magazine for each and every issue, in the classifieds, looking for a lady who enjoyed classical music. The fact that it ran for so many years probably meant that he was having trouble finding what he was looking for. Classifieds don't usually pull that well. That's what I need. I can entertain someone with anything from Bach to Rock (and roll). Woman do look jaw dropping amazed when they hear a system like one of my systems. They don't even have to be an audiophile or know anything about audio, when something is so instinctively "right," they know it.

[MetalNuts]

1 hour ago, Digi&Analog Fan said:

in the classifieds, looking for a lady who enjoyed classical music. The fact that it ran for so many years probably meant that he was having trouble finding what he was looking for. Classifieds don't usually pull that well. That's what I need. I can entertain someone with anything from Bach to Rock (and roll). Woman do look jaw dropping amazed when they hear a system like one of my systems. They don't even have to be an audiophile or know anything about audio,

 

I am sure if the right price is offered in the right classified, you will get the lady you want!🤣

[Digi&Analog Fan]

The only equipment I like that's  highly used is vintage audio equipment.

[Digi&Analog Fan]

Remember linear phase and phase aligned speakers? The idea was to place the speakers tweeter further back in or on the cabinet, so their acoustic centers where the sound comes from, would be equidistant to the listeners ears and produce simultaneous arrival times. There was a short guy and a very tall guy  both sitting in chairs auditioning the phase aligned speakers. One of the guys suddenly remarked, "I just thought of something, if you're a foot taller than me, the tweeter on top is way closer to your ears than to mine. My ears are lower down and closer to the midrange driver than yours. I'm hearing the midrange first and then the tweeter and you're hearing the tweeter first and then the midrange."

 

The other guy said.  "Yeah, when the salesman comes back in, lets ask him what size of person these speakers were designed for anyway."