Popular Post new_media Posted April 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2020 The year is 2029 and the first female President-elect of the United States is a former three-term congresswoman from Indiana. She sends a senior campaign staffer to escort her parents, who are well into their 80's, to the inauguration. At first her parents decline, stating that it is too far of a trip at their age and really just too much trouble, but they acquiesce when the President herself speaks to her father on the phone and insists, explaining that she has arranged for a private jet, a limousine, and a luxury suite for their trip. At the inaugural dinner, the President is seated at the end of the head table, while her parents are seated near the middle next to a senior Senator. The President's father turns to the Senator and, pointing to his daughter, asks, "Do you see that little girl down there?" The Senator smiles at her father knowingly, and replies, "Yes sir, I do." Beaming with pride, her father states, "Well, I want you to know that her brother played basketball for Indiana University." gmgraves, AudioDoctor, sphinxsix and 2 others 5 Link to comment
Popular Post new_media Posted April 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2020 A man walks into a crowded bar, takes a seat right in front of the bartender, and loudly exclaims, "Anyone want to hear a blonde joke?" Almost before he can finish his question, a rather large female bouncer walks up behind him and says, "Before you tell that joke, I want you to know that I'm a former SWAT officer. I'm 5'10" and weigh 180 lbs., and I'm a blonde." Pointing, she continues, "My friend at that end of the bar was a Marine. She's done 3 combat tours and has 15 confirmed kills. She's 5'11", weighs 185 lbs., and she's a blonde. And at the other end of the bar, my friend is a mixed martial artist who has won 30 matches by knockout or submission. She's 6'1", weighs 200 lbs., and she's a blonde. Now, are you sure you want to tell that joke?" "God, no." the man replies, "I wouldn't want to try to explain it 3 times." Audiophile Neuroscience, Allan F, AudioDoctor and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 1 hour ago, AudioDoctor said: I laughed pretty good at this, thanks for that! In our modern society, that seems to be more likely the case than not. I have a number of married friends, and in NONE of them is the husband the head of the household. One of my friends even admits it. “I’m not management at my house,” he says. “I’m merely the hired help. My pay goes into her account, she decides where to spend it, she pays the bills, if I need money, I have to beg for it, but she doesn’t ask me when she wants to buy something. I’m just here to fix broken things and chauffeur members of the family around”. If I were this guy, I certainly wouldn’t admit to being in that position even if I were. But I wouldn’t be. Were I stupid enough to commit matrimony (and I’m not), I would run my marriage the same way that I have handled all of my female relationships. They get three strikes. After the third strike all my former girlfriends were OUT. I would do the same in a marriage. Piss me off three times and it’s ADIOS mi’lady! George Link to comment
Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 3 hours ago, gmgraves said: In our modern society, that seems to be more likely the case than not. I have a number of married friends, and in NONE of them is the husband the head of the household. One of my friends even admits it. “I’m not management at my house,” he says. “I’m merely the hired help. My pay goes into her account, she decides where to spend it, she pays the bills, if I need money, I have to beg for it, but she doesn’t ask me when she wants to buy something. I’m just here to fix broken things and chauffeur members of the family around”. If I were this guy, I certainly wouldn’t admit to being in that position even if I were. But I wouldn’t be. Were I stupid enough to commit matrimony (and I’m not), I would run my marriage the same way that I have handled all of my female relationships. They get three strikes. After the third strike all my former girlfriends were OUT. I would do the same in a marriage. Piss me off three times and it’s ADIOS mi’lady! What a charmer 🙃 Well, like I said I still wear the pants even if the Missus chooses which ones. You don't hear me whinging tho, I never complain about her wardrobe either..Oh............... meet the missus AudioDoctor 1 Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
Popular Post Confused Posted April 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2020 I get enormous pleasure from playing chess with the old bald bearded guys in the park. The only problem is that it is very hard to find 32 of them. sphinxsix and gmgraves 2 Windows 11 PC, Roon, HQPlayer, Focus Fidelity convolutions, iFi Zen Stream, Paul Hynes SR4, Mutec REF10, Mutec MC3+USB, Devialet 1000Pro, KEF Blade. Plus Pro-Ject Signature 12 TT for playing my 'legacy' vinyl collection. Desktop system; RME ADI-2 DAC fs, Meze Empyrean headphones. Link to comment
Popular Post Rexp Posted April 4, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 4, 2020 5 hours ago, gmgraves said: In our modern society, that seems to be more likely the case than not. I have a number of married friends, and in NONE of them is the husband the head of the household. One of my friends even admits it. “I’m not management at my house,” he says. “I’m merely the hired help. My pay goes into her account, she decides where to spend it, she pays the bills, if I need money, I have to beg for it, but she doesn’t ask me when she wants to buy something. I’m just here to fix broken things and chauffeur members of the family around”. If I were this guy, I certainly wouldn’t admit to being in that position even if I were. But I wouldn’t be. Were I stupid enough to commit matrimony (and I’m not), I would run my marriage the same way that I have handled all of my female relationships. They get three strikes. After the third strike all my former girlfriends were OUT. I would do the same in a marriage. Piss me off three times and it’s ADIOS mi’lady! Marriage isn't a big deal, becoming Father is the best thing to happen to any man. DuckToller, Foggie and AudioDoctor 3 Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 8 hours ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said: What a charmer 🙃 Well, like I said I still wear the pants even if the Missus chooses which ones. You don't hear me whinging tho, I never complain about her wardrobe either..Oh............... meet the missus Certainly understandable! Audiophile Neuroscience 1 George Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 5 hours ago, Rexp said: Marriage isn't a big deal, becoming Father is the best thing to happen to any man. It is if you’re a modern re-incarnation of Wallace Whimple. These guys I know are that. They’re not happy, they’re afraid of their wives, and they are more afraid of the California court system which, if they try to divorce the shrews, will give her everything the man has ever owned and anything he would be likely to own in the future. I don’t blame them there, the CA divorce courts are brutal to guys in a divorce. I shudder just to think of it! George Link to comment
Allan F Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 40 minutes ago, gmgraves said: It is if you’re a modern re-incarnation of Wallace Whimple. These guys I know are that. They’re not happy, they’re afraid of their wives, and they are more afraid of the California court system which, if they try to divorce the shrews, will give her everything the man has ever owned and anything he would be likely to own in the future. I don’t blame them there, the CA divorce courts are brutal to guys in a divorce. I shudder just to think of it! Why don't you tell us what you really think, George? Audiophile Neuroscience 1 "Relax, it's only hi-fi. There's never been a hi-fi emergency." - Roy Hall "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - William Bruce Cameron Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 4, 2020 Share Posted April 4, 2020 5 hours ago, Allan F said: Why don't you tell us what you really think, George? Nah, my thoughts are much too politically incorrect. Heaven forbid that I exercise my Constitutional First Amendment Right of free speech! 😉 George Link to comment
Popular Post Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 7 hours ago, gmgraves said: It is if you’re a modern re-incarnation of Wallace Whimple. These guys I know are that. They’re not happy, they’re afraid of their wives, and they are more afraid of the California court system which, if they try to divorce the shrews, will give her everything the man has ever owned and anything he would be likely to own in the future. I don’t blame them there, the CA divorce courts are brutal to guys in a divorce. I shudder just to think of it! George, I'm gonna bet you're not a fan of Za Za Gabor 🤔🤣 AudioDoctor and jventer 2 Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
Rexp Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 8 hours ago, gmgraves said: It is if you’re a modern re-incarnation of Wallace Whimple. These guys I know are that. They’re not happy, they’re afraid of their wives, and they are more afraid of the California court system which, if they try to divorce the shrews, will give her everything the man has ever owned and anything he would be likely to own in the future. I don’t blame them there, the CA divorce courts are brutal to guys in a divorce. I shudder just to think of it! You should move to where I'm currently living, Malaysia. Divorced Muslim wives get a pittance. Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 12 minutes ago, Rexp said: You should move to where I'm currently living, Malaysia. Divorced Muslim wives get a pittance. Not really. I think that divorce should be equitable. Former spouses should be able to shake hands and walk away, with each taking 100% of what they owned going in and 50% of shared assets. Alimony would not exist, but of course, child support would also be 50/50. That’s only fair. George Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 50 minutes ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said: George, I'm gonna bet you're not a fan of Za Za Gabor 🤔🤣 I like what actor George Sanders said when a reporter asked him how he felt after his divorce from Zsa Zsa: “Like a squeezed lemon.” Never saw the appeal of either of the Gabor sisters, Zsa Zsa or Eva. George Link to comment
Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 18 minutes ago, gmgraves said: I like what actor George Sanders said when a reporter asked him how he felt after his divorce from Zsa Zsa: “Like a squeezed lemon.” Never saw the appeal of either of the Gabor sisters, Zsa Zsa or Eva. IMO Sanders and Gabor both had a cynical sense of humor, George's was just darker, right to the end..... "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.George Sanders" Zsa Zsa was great in "Green Acres" and a true Hungarian beauty. I loved Sanders old Philip Marlowe movies too Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
Rexp Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 28 minutes ago, gmgraves said: Not really. I think that divorce should be equitable. Former spouses should be able to shake hands and walk away, with each taking 100% of what they owned going in and 50% of shared assets. Alimony would not exist, but of course, child support would also be 50/50. That’s only fair. 50% of wealth created during marriage would be fair. Child support costs should be shared pro-rata. Link to comment
gmgraves Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 2 minutes ago, Rexp said: 50% of wealth created during marriage would be fair. Child support costs should be shared pro-rata. Is that not what I said? George Link to comment
Popular Post Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 Summit, Sonic77 and AudioDoctor 3 Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
AudioDoctor Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 45 minutes ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said: This idea would make a great don't drink too much ad campaign... Audiophile Neuroscience 1 No electron left behind. Link to comment
Popular Post Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 1 hour ago, AudioDoctor said: This idea would make a great don't drink too much ad campaign... Funny, I was thinking the reverse 🥰 AudioDoctor and Allan F 2 Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
Popular Post Confused Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 A man visits the doctor advising that he has a lettuce leaf sticking out of his bottom. The doctor asks the man to drop his trousers, so he can examine closely. During the examination the man asks "How serious is this?" The doctor replies "I am very sorry to inform you that this is just the tip of the iceberg..." Audiophile Neuroscience and Jeff_N 1 1 Windows 11 PC, Roon, HQPlayer, Focus Fidelity convolutions, iFi Zen Stream, Paul Hynes SR4, Mutec REF10, Mutec MC3+USB, Devialet 1000Pro, KEF Blade. Plus Pro-Ject Signature 12 TT for playing my 'legacy' vinyl collection. Desktop system; RME ADI-2 DAC fs, Meze Empyrean headphones. Link to comment
Audiophile Neuroscience Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Confused said: A man visits the doctor advising that he has a lettuce leaf sticking out of his bottom. The doctor asks the man to drop his trousers, so he can examine closely. During the examination the man asks "How serious is this?" The doctor replies "I am very sorry to inform you that this is just the tip of the iceberg..." It could have been worse, it could have been a cabbage leaf🤣 Confused 1 Sound Minds Mind Sound Link to comment
Confused Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 44 minutes ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said: It could have been worse, it could have been a cabbage leaf🤣 or a Giant Sequoia leaf..... Audiophile Neuroscience 1 Windows 11 PC, Roon, HQPlayer, Focus Fidelity convolutions, iFi Zen Stream, Paul Hynes SR4, Mutec REF10, Mutec MC3+USB, Devialet 1000Pro, KEF Blade. Plus Pro-Ject Signature 12 TT for playing my 'legacy' vinyl collection. Desktop system; RME ADI-2 DAC fs, Meze Empyrean headphones. Link to comment
Popular Post Allan F Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together after making love. “Well”, the egg says in frustration, "I guess that answers that question!" Superdad, kumakuma, sphinxsix and 2 others 5 "Relax, it's only hi-fi. There's never been a hi-fi emergency." - Roy Hall "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - William Bruce Cameron Link to comment
Popular Post Allan F Posted April 5, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 5, 2020 Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. While he quietly ate, she stayed and continually berated him with a stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs striking the wife in the head, killing her instantly. At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him he would shake his head from side to side. When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?" "Well", Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked and that her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked me if the mule was for sale." jventer, Summit, Audiophile Neuroscience and 2 others 5 "Relax, it's only hi-fi. There's never been a hi-fi emergency." - Roy Hall "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - William Bruce Cameron Link to comment
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