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Off Topic | Just for Laughs


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11 hours ago, sandyk said:

The Laws of Life 

1.Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

 

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

 

3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

 

5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now

 

6.Law of the Bath  - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

 

7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 

8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

 

9.Law of Biomechanics- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

 

11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

 

14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

 

15.Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

 

16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

 

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

 

18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

 

If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.

 

Really... It's true.

I read it on the Internet!

Basically, Murphy wrote all these laws !

Sound Minds Mind Sound

 

 

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I come back this time and time again: https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-05-28

 

P.S. - I like PBS the broadcast service as well as the strip...

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Digital expert speaks out on live BBC News!

 

I am told this actually happened around 2006 and some of our English cousins might remember? This guy in the clip apparently turned up to BBC for a completely unrelated job position and found himself on live BBC News being interviewed about the future of music digital downloads.

 

Sound Minds Mind Sound

 

 

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On 8/21/2020 at 6:59 AM, Audiophile Neuroscience said:

Digital expert speaks out on live BBC News!

 

I am told this actually happened around 2006 and some of our English cousins might remember? This guy in the clip apparently turned up to BBC for a completely unrelated job position and found himself on live BBC News being interviewed about the future of music digital downloads.

 

As one of your (presumably very distant) English cousins I can confirm this actually happened, I recall watching it on the news.  Apparently our hero above, Mr Guy Goma, was waiting in reception at the BBC for interview for an accountants position in the BBC's IT department.  At the same time another guy called Guy, Mr Guy Kewney, a technology expert, was in the reception waiting to appear on TV for the above Apple interview.  Apparently the BBC News producer arrived in reception, approached Mr Goma, asked "are you Guy", to which Mr Goma accurately replied "yes", and hence the producer got the wrong guy (Guy). The rest is history as they say....

 

He was later interviewed for the IT accounts job, but was not hired, which is a bit of a shame all things considered.

 

The incident was later satirised here:

 

 

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34 minutes ago, Confused said:

As one of your (presumably very distant) English cousins I can confirm this actually happened, I recall watching it on the news.  Apparently our hero above, Mr Guy Goma, was waiting in reception at the BBC for interview for an accountants position in the BBC's IT department.  At the same time another guy called Guy, Mr Guy Kewney, a technology expert, was in the reception waiting to appear on TV for the above Apple interview.  Apparently the BBC News producer arrived in reception, approached Mr Goma, asked "are you Guy", to which Mr Goma accurately replied "yes", and hence the producer got the wrong guy (Guy). The rest is history as they say....

 

He was later interviewed for the IT accounts job, but was not hired, which is a bit of a shame all things considered.

 

The incident was later satirised here:

 

 

 

Ha ha that is brilliant! I was sure that if it were a true story someone in England would know of it.

I am English by descent. So yes maybe we are distant cousins:)

Sound Minds Mind Sound

 

 

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9 minutes ago, sphinxsix said:

Inspired by the 'Best Singer..' thread.. ;)

 

No one should have to subjected to this. :)

"Relax, it's only hi-fi. There's never been a hi-fi emergency." - Roy Hall

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - William Bruce Cameron

 

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The funniest thing is that they actually believe they are great singers. That is a special kind of narcissism. 

 

That last guy could really dance though. 😄

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