Off Topic | Just for Laughs

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40 minutes ago, Allan F said:

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say that she is crazy, I said she was f*cking Goofy,

I wet ‘em!

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22 minutes ago, sphinxsix said:

There have been many funny jokes and other stuff posted here. Unfortunately all of them have one weak point in common - they are all subjectively funny. The joke to be really funny has to be objectively funny! Now listen to this - two million people from 70 countries voted on 40,000 jokes in a study by Dr Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire and the British Association for the Advancement of Science to find out the funniest joke in the world.

Actually since this joke is objectively the funniest one in the world I should post it on the "Objective-Fi" forum, ask Chris for the moderator rights and remove all the posts negating the fact that it's simply the funniest one but since I'm a renegade, an ex-sobjectivist but never an objectivist I will post it here.

And you guys may agree or disagree with that 

 

Here's the joke.

 

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

 

 

Wikipedia - World's funniest joke.

Are the Brits working, under joke-proof conditions, to weaponize the joke? Each researcher knowing only part of the joke to avoid injury?

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20 hours ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said:

Loriot summing up the Subjectivist / Objectivist debate !

Actually it is very representative of the vast difference between men and women. Men are logical, “women are irrational, that’s all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!”*

But then, what do I know? I don’t trust the fair sex** and I loathe the idea of matrimony. “Let them (other guys) buy those wedding bands for those anxious little hands... I will never let a woman in my life!**🧐

 

** “Women, even the best of them, are not to be trusted...” Sherlock Holmes

* *** George Bernard Shaw by way of Alan J. Lerner and Frederick Lowe

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11 hours ago, Confused said:

Truer words were never spoken. In engineering school I took calculus, statistics, solid geometry and several other advanced mathematics classes that I slept through, but somehow managed to pass. In my entire career as an electronics engineer doing design work, I have never had occasion to use anything more advanced than high-school algebra!

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1 hour ago, AudioDoctor said:

 

 

I laughed pretty good at this, thanks for that!

In our modern society, that seems to be more likely the case than not. I have a number of married friends, and in NONE of them is the husband the head of the household. One of my friends even admits it. “I’m not management at my house,” he says. “I’m merely the hired help. My pay goes into her account, she decides where to spend it, she pays the bills, if I need money, I have to beg for it, but she doesn’t ask me when she wants to buy something. I’m just here to fix broken things and chauffeur members of the family around”.

 

If I were this guy, I certainly wouldn’t admit to being in that position even if I were. But I wouldn’t be. Were I stupid enough to commit matrimony (and I’m not), I would run my marriage the same way that I have handled all of my female relationships. They get three strikes. After the third strike all my former girlfriends were OUT. I would do the same in a marriage. Piss me off three times and it’s ADIOS mi’lady!

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said:

 

What a charmer 🙃

 

Well, like I said I still wear the pants even if the Missus chooses which ones. You don't hear me whinging tho, I never complain about her wardrobe either..Oh............... meet the missus

Certainly understandable!

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5 hours ago, Rexp said:

Marriage isn't a big deal, becoming Father is the best thing to happen to any man. 

It is if you’re a modern re-incarnation of Wallace Whimple. These guys I know are that. They’re not happy, they’re afraid of their wives, and they are more afraid of the California court system which, if they try to divorce the shrews, will give her everything the man has ever owned and anything he would be likely to own in the future. I don’t blame them there, the CA divorce courts are brutal to guys in a divorce. I shudder just to think of it!

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5 hours ago, Allan F said:

 

Why don't you tell us what you really think, George?

Nah, my thoughts are much too politically incorrect. Heaven forbid that I exercise my Constitutional First Amendment Right of free speech! 😉

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12 minutes ago, Rexp said:

You should move to where I'm currently living, Malaysia. Divorced Muslim wives get a pittance. 

Not really. I think that divorce should be equitable. Former spouses should be able to shake hands and walk away, with each taking 100% of what they owned going in and 50% of shared assets. Alimony would not exist, but of course, child support would also be 50/50. That’s only fair.

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50 minutes ago, Audiophile Neuroscience said:

George, I'm gonna bet you're not a fan of Za Za Gabor 🤔🤣

I like what actor George Sanders said when a reporter asked him how he felt after his divorce from Zsa Zsa: “Like a squeezed lemon.”  Never saw the appeal of either of the Gabor sisters, Zsa Zsa or Eva.

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2 minutes ago, Rexp said:

50% of wealth created during marriage would be fair. Child support costs should be shared pro-rata. 

Is that not what I said?