Audiophile Jokes and Anecdotes.

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Herb Reichert and Steve Guttenberg (Stereophile):

 

 

Do you know any other audiophile jokes or anecdotes.?

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Some from Google Images   (you are right I've got lots of free time today)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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By popular demand

 

 

 

 

 

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Cables storing ideas.

 

 

If you don't like reggae:

 

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I crept up the stairs to the bedroom in the early hours of the morning one night last week

"Where have you been?" my wife asked.

"I cannot lie," I said. "I have been with another woman."

"Don't give me that BS!" she replied. "You've bought another audio product and have been listening to it!"

 

John Atkinson (on his 3rd marriage)

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Meanwhile I heard this one:

Audiophile 1: “Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness.”
Audiophile 2: “That’s so sad, what did he have?”
Audiophile 1: " Krell, Wilsons, DCS, and Transparent cables."

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More musicophile than audiophile reflection..

 

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Let's say not necessarily audiophile but just music related humor..

 

 

 

 

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I've run through some quotes this evening.

 

“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the ‘William Tell Overture’ without thinking of The Lone Ranger.”
Billy Connolly

“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down’.”
Bob Newhart

“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
Johnny Carson

“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”
Groucho Marx

“U2’s lawyers work pro Bono.”
Shmuel Breban

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“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”
Dave Lee Roth, Van Halen

“Not seeing my physician for 20 years was one of those phobias that really didn’t pay off.”
Warren Zevon

“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the f__king deli without hearing or seeing me.’”
Lady Gaga

“All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”
Louis Armstrong

“I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
Angus Young, AC/DC

“I don’t have a drinking problem, ’cept when I can’t get a drink.”
Tom Waits

“In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.”
Damon Albarn

 

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Once I played a Chesky demo CD, a track on which a drummer circles around the recording room playing his instrument. My ex-girlfriend came from the kitchen intrigued by the presumed fact that I'm walking around the living room playing the drum I never play (I got it from my father and it smells really bad - a goat skin.. I don't even want to talk what it sounds like..).

 

No potential groupies appeared, maybe women nowadays don't like Chesky Records..  

 

BTW, ever heard of Cynthia Plaster Caster?

 

 

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On 5/29/2020 at 7:26 AM, Digi&Analog Fan said:

Remember linear phase and phase aligned speakers? The idea was to place the speakers tweeter further back in or on the cabinet, so their acoustic centers where the sound comes from, would be equidistant to the listeners ears and produce simultaneous arrival times. There was a short guy and a very tall guy  both sitting in chairs auditioning the phase aligned speakers. One of the guys suddenly remarked, "I just thought of something, if you're a foot taller than me, the tweeter on top is way closer to your ears than to mine. My ears are lower down and closer to the midrange driver than yours. I'm hearing the midrange first and then the tweeter and you're hearing the tweeter first and then the midrange."

 

The other guy said.  "Yeah, when the salesman comes back in, lets ask him what size of person these speakers were designed for anyway." 

 

As strange as it may sound, different speakers change the way they sound to a different degree in correlation with the change of the listener's ears height. With the ones I use the effect is among the strongest ones I've ever heard. Maybe the reason is that their time/phase alignment is simply top notch. Their maker used to pay lots of attention to this aspect of performance, he even used the term 'point source' in this regard (despite the fact that mine are 4-way speakers). Even more interesting is the fact that they sound best when the listener's ears are on the midrange driver level (usually it's the tweeter height). They are quite tall so they were clearly designed to be listened to in that way, cause in case of an average man height of 180cm it would be even very difficult to find the right armchair. Now the part that qualifies somewhere between the 'Audiophile anecdotes' and 'Tweaks' threads. Since my ears were much to low while sitting in my 'listening armchair' (the most comfortable one from about 50 I tried back in the 90's!) and since the difference in SQ was so distinct depending on my ears height, I had taken my beloved armchair to a carpenter and asked him to make a mechanism allowing for a quick, simple change of its height of a little less than 10cm for which I paid almost as much as for the armchair itself. Anyway I still rank the tweak's SQ improvement to cost ratio very (nomen omen) high 

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10 minutes ago, Digi&Analog Fan said:

I just assume they would be faster because it would be logical that something smaller with less mass would tend to have faster acceleration time and I think that's what I subjectively tend to hear. Also, even though a tweeter is covering different frequencies, there is much overlapping of an instruments harmonic overtone structure (which can span many octaves, between tweeter and midrange), which I always view as a "team". I used to have equipment that got too dark sounding after playing about 3 records in a row. It would lose its crispness and sparkle and even the bass guitar lines, way below in frequency sounded way less articulated over it. Even mid to upper bass transients rely on a bit of crispness for their greatest articulation.

 

 The vintage speaker company EPI always said that they would not ever consider using anything above an 8 inch woofer in their speakers, as they felt it would not be ideal for bass transient response. Although I think they did use a passive radiator "once" that might have been slightly bigger than that. Some modern companies like Totem tend to favor smaller woofers usually also. I like the sound of electric bass guitar, and sounding light, fleet, well articulated, and effortless in what I call the "fancy range" is what I really enjoy, much more than sheer oomph. Speakers with huge woofers usually make the bass guitar sound a little too heavy in my favorite range, and they can also make the midrange sound too dark and murky which works at odds with transparency. As far as my personal sonic listening preferences, there is a fine line between warmth and transparency, that a little too much in either way really destroys it. 

 

There are some 12 and 13 in woofers that are really very fast. The application (electronic and acoustic design) also matters.

 

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1 hour ago, Superdad said:

I come to this thread for the jokes and anecdotes.  What happened? 

 

As the OP I'm ok with derailing this thread in every possible way 

The only guarantee of finding new jokes and anecdotes is posting them first 

 

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My typical breakfast..

 

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46 minutes ago, Allan F said:

 

Regardless of the height of the driver.

But notice - the heavier the driver, the slower the car. I believe in an extreme situation  A4 could actually be slower than MB S95, it's only a question of finding appropriate drivers.. 🙄

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10 hours ago, Kal Rubinson said:

There are aren't any two people with driver's licenses in our family with a sufficient weight differential.  

 

I didn't suggest that.

 

10 hours ago, sandyk said:

 

This is hilarious but I believe this post was meant for the other thread 

 

 

 

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When even autotune doesn't solve the problem..

 

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Some instrumental humor..

 

 

Wim Hof - the Dutch ambassador of extreme cold therapy.

 

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